The big malls and the high-end beauty havens are not symbols of urbanization after all. Not in my book. In my opinion, they are simply glorified versions of solutions to problems created by our own lifestyles.
For women especially, there is a redefinition of what’s necessary and what’s important. This is a cliché we hear every day --- the classic précis of testimonials received from the confused boyfriend to the uninterested husband. And it appears that all women live with it like it’s a boring trivia.
When an aspect of a female’s life (work, love, friends, whatnots) goes down a valley, the typical working girl in Metro Manila would resort to different defense mechanisms. They may seem crazy to the point of being psychotic. If we are honest enough, we can admit that sometimes we do submit ourselves to at least one of these indicators of crazy-ness or psychosis.
For our sanity (just for kicks and wishful thinking), I offered alternatives in what a rural lass or a girl from a less bustling city ("Probinsyana Nene") would have done…
Bad Situation #1: Someone commented on your fine lines, wrinkles, sun spots and/or pimples
Defense Mechanism: Go to the nearest Watson’s or beauty/cosmetic counter and shop for makeup, cleansers and miracle creams (galore). Go to the salon and have a facial and a diamond peel and a mask and an eye treatment and the whole derma solution package…
What Probinsyana Nene Would Have Done: Smile and say “They’ll be gone tomorrow.”
Bad Situation #2: The wind or weather made it a bad hair day
Defense Mechanism: Go to the nearest salon and have a haircut, or better yet splurge on a hair treatment, or hair color, or hair extensions, or digital perm, or…Splurge on a pricey shampoo, conditioner, at-home hair-rebonding set from the latest TV/print ad.
What Probinsyana Nene Would Have Done: Tie back her hair and get on with the rest of the day. Most often than not, everybody else will be on the same bad hair day. So it doesn’t matter.
Bad Situation #3: This is a depressing / boring / frustrating day! Ugh!
Defense Mechanism: Go to the mall and buy yourself a treat – probably a bag or pair of killer heels! Or go to a spa for a body scrub or a foot spa!
What Probinsyana Nene Would Have Done: Go home and treat herself to Mom’s home cooking.
Bad Situation #4: Someone said you are getting fat.
Defense Mechanism: Ask 10 more friends if you are really getting fat, and stay unconvinced with the answers. Weigh yourself five times and compute for your “most achievable” BMI. Enroll in a gym and take up all sorts of slimming classes (yoga, pilates, kickboxing, etc.). Eat some more. I’ll go on a diet tomorrow or exercise on Friday.
What Probinsyana Nene Would Have Done: Ask her Mom to un-spoil her once in a while. Look at the mirror, and say “How dare they criticize MY body! I feel healthy and that’s what counts.”
Bad Situation #5: You are so poor you cannot afford that “thing” (bag, shoes, jeans, blouse, etc.) that you’ve been lemming for forever.
Defense Mechanism: Take out that plastic and buy it! Every cool girl in the office has it. And besides, it’s in Cosmo’s Must-Buy List. Pretend that someone will miraculously pay out that credit card bill … yes, until it becomes due.
What Probinsyana Nene Would Have Done: Go home and continue to dream about it. "All of my friends dream about it anyway. Credit card - what credit card?" The more "sophisticated" provincial lasses would reserve their credit cards for life-and-death emergencies and bare necessities, e.g., weekly groceries.
Bad Situation #6: You suddenly came to a realization that your boss is the worse ever.
Defense Mechanism: Have a drink with friends to vent it all out. Have dinner with friends and dissect the misery. Stress over it for a week or for eternity. Secretly plot your resignation from Plans A to Z. Stress over the secret plots for another eternity.
What Probinsyana Nene Would Have Done: Go home and forget about it the second her dog tap-dances in its “meet and greet” act. Tomorrow’s another day.
The supposedly empowered women talk about apathy over the more complex issues on corruption and political will. But do you hear them listen to themselves and reflect on their own apathy over "quirky" lifestyles they create? Oooh no, they have to be flawless and feminine for that info-mercial.
Not that there's anything wrong with being feminine and physically appealing. We should celebrate it because that is part of being a woman. But as my blog title goes: A real woman doesn't dream just about shoes and perfect hair days. We dream of a quality life with our loved ones, of making a difference in our own barangay and city, of leaving a legacy to our children, of being good mothers, sisters, girl friends, and daughters. That is female; that is woman.
Bottom line - Hope we, metro girls, can laugh it all out and take the stress level a few notches down. That way, we need not resort to the above defense mechanisms. We are all beautiful in our unique ways.
Au revoir:)
What Probinsyana Nene Would Have Done: Ask her Mom to un-spoil her once in a while. Look at the mirror, and say “How dare they criticize MY body! I feel healthy and that’s what counts.”
Bad Situation #5: You are so poor you cannot afford that “thing” (bag, shoes, jeans, blouse, etc.) that you’ve been lemming for forever.
Defense Mechanism: Take out that plastic and buy it! Every cool girl in the office has it. And besides, it’s in Cosmo’s Must-Buy List. Pretend that someone will miraculously pay out that credit card bill … yes, until it becomes due.
What Probinsyana Nene Would Have Done: Go home and continue to dream about it. "All of my friends dream about it anyway. Credit card - what credit card?" The more "sophisticated" provincial lasses would reserve their credit cards for life-and-death emergencies and bare necessities, e.g., weekly groceries.
Bad Situation #6: You suddenly came to a realization that your boss is the worse ever.
Defense Mechanism: Have a drink with friends to vent it all out. Have dinner with friends and dissect the misery. Stress over it for a week or for eternity. Secretly plot your resignation from Plans A to Z. Stress over the secret plots for another eternity.
What Probinsyana Nene Would Have Done: Go home and forget about it the second her dog tap-dances in its “meet and greet” act. Tomorrow’s another day.
***
The supposedly empowered women talk about apathy over the more complex issues on corruption and political will. But do you hear them listen to themselves and reflect on their own apathy over "quirky" lifestyles they create? Oooh no, they have to be flawless and feminine for that info-mercial.
Not that there's anything wrong with being feminine and physically appealing. We should celebrate it because that is part of being a woman. But as my blog title goes: A real woman doesn't dream just about shoes and perfect hair days. We dream of a quality life with our loved ones, of making a difference in our own barangay and city, of leaving a legacy to our children, of being good mothers, sisters, girl friends, and daughters. That is female; that is woman.
Bottom line - Hope we, metro girls, can laugh it all out and take the stress level a few notches down. That way, we need not resort to the above defense mechanisms. We are all beautiful in our unique ways.
Au revoir:)
