Gene falls, Gene fell, Gene's fallen: Hiatus

Dear Friends --- my blog posts have been not as regular lately. Gen the blogger is in some form of hiatus, I think. And while she is, I'd like to open my heart and just spill it all out. It may help bring back my blogging energy or not. But we all know that sharing does wonders to us all...

Random journal entry: July 20 10:30 pm

I can't seem to have the same energy to blog these past two weeks. And I don't know why. Can't seem to find a topic to write about although there are tons of ideas going over my head. Sometimes, I'd have “lost in space” intervals though these may have been really brief to have gone unnoticed.

I heave deep sighs every now and then while an idea bordering on melancholy or heartache will pass me by. The songs going through my thinking space range from really divine wedding bridal walk songs to emotionally-laden goodbye songs: Ikaw, God Gave Me You, Ironic, Paalam Na --- Who placed these in my playlist?

I want to scream “What's up?!” really. Is this a case of an emotional trough in my biorhythm? Something that just happens with no logical explanation?

If I go over the facts, work is doing really great. Got an unexpected and very morale-boosting kudos from the powers-that-be. We almost lost the second cut of the project due to pricing but my boss managed to emphasize our value --- and to my surprise, the client recognized it. Now I'm in the project's second phase which gives me more reasons to stay motivated. So what more can I ask for? These all seem like a good start for my first half as a re-hire.

Again, I ask 'What's up?' Only because I'm wondering if the work buzz somehow took over my blogging side. A funny yellow car sign says: 'You can't have everything all at once. Where will you put it?' But I know that my Mama, although she says nothing about it, can somehow sense that something's amiss. And in this case, I cannot even describe it to her. Is this a case of July blues? My Julys of past years had been extremes historically. "July, please be good to me this year", I remember posting this status on FB.

Dear God, I know You can see through this haze. I do not need to understand it. But I pray, that You will help me guard my heart. Now is the time for me to stop analyzing and lift this up to You. Please show me Your Will as I navigate this “emotional trough” in my life. This too shall pass.