34

34.

This seems like an insignificant number, doesn't it? Not like 18 (a lady's debut), or 21 (usually the first year into the real work / corporate world), or 25 (celebrating at least one milestone), or 30 (another phase, another chapter into maturity), or even 33 (there is something sweet about being 33). But 34? Hmm, it makes me wonder whether this year will be any different. I mean, really? And do you stop counting the years at some point?

Given all these, that does not keep me from being grateful for all the blessings that have been showered upon me so generously for the past 33 years. In the same way, I am also thankful for the pains and the lessons from the loss.

I've lost some very important people in my life --- my Papa, my biological mother a couple of years back, Uncle Costan just months ago, and even TOTGA (The One That Got Away). In the process, I saw how I wept and mourned --- quiet, in my own private space, and knowing that I will let go but never forget.

I've tasted bits of success and celebrated God's glory in my own small ways. Sometimes, I ask Him what am I here for? Can I make a big difference? Can I change the world? Will I be able to leave a legacy? But then I realized, does that even matter? As long as I discern His will and chase my dreams around this, I will be okay and I know at the end of it all, I can then say, 'I have lived, loved and have done my best.'

So 34?

It may not sound as magical as the other years. But this is one more year in a lifetime of uncertain length and breadth. Another chance to move mountains.

Cheers to 34!!!