Our dear friend, Melody, celebrated her (drum roll!) 30th birthday last April 3, Saturday. As Melody’s birthday treat to Lovella and me (actually a long overdue consequence agreed on a four-month old bet – which I will not discuss on this post – don’t worry Meldz), the three ladies went to see “The Clash of the Titans” 2010 version in 3D.
The idea of the 3D and a high-tech fresh 2010 version seemed exciting ofcourse. Well, until you finally go and see the movie.
There are just two points that I want to get across. First – Do not bother with seeing it in 3D, and second – if you are a Greek mythology scholar of sorts, or want to be one, SKIP this film (just go and read the book please).
For the first point - 3D, 2D or 1D (hah), there won’t be any difference. As most critics said, just spend the extra bucks on more popcorn. For probably 80% of the film, my neighbor whined discreetly on the fact that taking off and putting on his 3D googles didn’t make any difference. For a matter of seconds, he seemed convinced: “Ah meron naman pala” (read: There seems to be some 3D in here). Then after a while, I heard again: Wala naman eh! (read: This movie people tricked me!). This repeated for a number of times throughout the film. Good thing, the whines were not that bothersome as you probably could imagine if 10 teenagers saw the movie in the row across you.
For the second point - Mel and Vel definitely sensed some things were glaringly inaccurate or off. So I did some after-office googling and found the 10 “Myths” below * (See also note for caveat). Again, I’d reiterate: NEVER recommend this movie for academic enrichment. PLEASE.
Myth #1: Danaë, who mothered Perseus, was the wife of King Acrisius.
The real mythology: Danaë is the only child (not the wife) of Acrisius - King of Argos.
Myth #2: King Acrisius’ blood boiled over when he found out that Zeus’ crazy whim for lovely women included Danaë. Zeus even disguised as Danaë's husband (the nerve) and went to bed with her!
The real mythology: In his desperation to have a male heir, King Acrisius sought out the prophecy but learned that his grandson would kill him. Thus, the king imprisoned Danaë in a bronze cave. However, the clever Zeus came in the form of golden rain and bore Danae a son - Perseus. Fearing the fulfillment of the prophecy, King Acrisius banished Danaë and Perseus, sending them away in a boat never to return. Now you realize that this King Acrisius wasn’t mad at Zeus for the unspeakable deceit he did for impregnating Danaë. Oh, he was just afraid to die.
Myth #3: Perseus needed the head of Medusa in order to kill the Kraken…in order to save Andromeda, the King Cepheus' (supposedly the new king of Argos) daughter…who was sacrificed to prevent the attack of the Kraken…who/which was released by an angry Hades, the god of the Underworld…who was insulted by a mortal’s (Cassiopeia's) comparison of the beauty of her daughter (Andromeda) to that of Aphrodite, another goddess who is in no way connected with Hades' Underworld.
The real mythology: Polydectes, the brother of the fisherman who found Danae and Perseus, fell in love with Danaë. Since Perseus was ‘high and mighty’ at that time, Polydectes plotted to remove Perseus. He organized a large banquet where he requested the guests to bring horses as gifts to help him woe Hippodamia, "tamer of horses" (yeah yeah, a front). The supposedly pure-hearted (or shortsighted?) Perseus promised Polydectes a substitute gift since he didn’t have a horse. The substitute gift, upon Polydectes’ request, turned out to be the terrifying head of Medusa ("the reigning one"), one of the Gorgons, whose very expression turns people to stone. Medusa, after all, is in some way related to the god of the sea and horses (Poseidon).
Myth #4: Perseus was so angry at the gods and goddesses for having killed his adoptive family that he swore that he will never take any gift from them (well, probably with the exception of Pegasus…and the sword that never bends – Who could resist these?)
The real mythology: The gods Hermes and Athena came to help out their demigod relative by giving him an adamantine curved sword (c/o Hermes), and highly-polished bronze shield (c/o Athena). At the end of all his battles, Perseus is said to have given his winged sandals (from the nymphs he met later) to Hermes so that he could fly, and Medusa's head to Athena who put it on Zeus' shield and used it to protect herself in battle.
Myth # 5: Perseus tricked the three old women, referred to as Stygian Witches in the movie adaptation, to spill out the beans on how to kill the Kraken by threatening to throw away their one and only eye. And that simple secret alone was enough for Perseus to go a long way.
The real mythology: The three perpetually old women, called the Graeae (also Gray Women) had one eye (and also one tooth) which they shared so only one of them could see at a time (and chew at a time?). Perseus took the eye and only returned it when they helped him defeat Medusa, which (as is typical of Greek odyssey) would require a long trip to meet up with the nymphs of the north. The Graeae told him the directions, and when he reached the nymphs, they gave him the tools of the trade - winged sandals, a magic purse/wallet or kibisis (which would fit whatever was put into it, including Medusa’s head), and a cap to make him invisible. Perseus found Medusa and killed her (looking in the reflection in the shield to avoid being turned into stone). Medusa’s sisters were hysterical but Perseus managed to escape because he was wearing his invisible cap (kind of like the wizard boys’ Invisibility Cloak). He put Medusa’s head into the magic purse/wallet and flew on his winged sandals towards home. So you see, the Kraken - for whatever it equated to - was never the end goal; it was Medusa’s head. And what a waste for doing a 2010 version when you couldn't have effects for invisibility caps and winged sandals. A flying horse is so last season.
Comic slip: One of the Gray Women called Perseus back to warn him of his impending death: "But wait, there's more..." - a line borrowed from Home Shopping Network?
Myth # 6: Pegasus was a gift from the gods.
The real mythology: From Medusa’s neck sprang Pegasus ("he who sprang") and Chrysaor ("bow of gold").
Myth #7: Paraphrased from Myth #3 - Cassiopeia compared the beauty of her daughter, Andromeda, to that of Aphrodite, which then angered Hades – the god of the Underworld.
(IMO, this is the funniest and most ridiculous made-up myth of all! Why would Hades care so much about the insults to Aphrodite's beauty? Shouldn't he be hating her and her cohorts in Uptown Olympus while he had to content himself with leftover Underworld?)
The real mythology: Cassiopeia declared that she is equally beautiful as the Nereids and drew down the anger of Poseidon who then sent an inundation in the form of a sea serpent, Cetus, to punish men and beast. Who are these Nereids, you ask? They are the sea nymphs, the 50 daughters of Nereus and Doris and the companions of Poseidon - the god of the sea, earthquakes and horses.
This makes better sense (assuming that mythologies are supposed to be logical) since the chosen object of comparison are sea nymphs which resulted in the wrath of a sea god who then sent a sea serpent as vengeance.
By the way, the Kraken sub-plot is of Norse and Icelandic origins. Either the script writer lived somewhere there or is a big fan of the Pirates of the Caribbean. Again you'll see that there is no Kraken business here. Medusa was the end goal – period.
Myth #8: Perseus set out for Medusa’s head to kill the Kraken…a death threat to Argos c/o Hades.
The real mythology: As he was passing Ethiopia, Perseus rescued the princess Andromeda as she was about to be sacrificed to a sea monster and he took her with him as his wife. Rescuing Andromeda was not THE goal; it was only an incidental reward.
Myth #9: As a lovely ending, Io (another demigod - with the countenance of a Pond's commercial model, yes, that of cold cream and whitening fame) who supposedly died early on the story was resurrected and given as a companion/gift to Perseus. (Well, since he didn’t want to be King of Argos or rise up to join his Olympian relatives, it would be a waste of genes if he didn't have a love life. )
The real mythology: Perseus married Andromeda and had to battle with a rival, Phineus, to whom she had been betrothed. With his ever handy and potent weapon, Perseus also turned Phineus into stone with Medusa's head (apparently still safe and writhing alive in Perseus’ magic purse/wallet).
The ending continued with the "happy ever after wedding" and a blissful marriage with Perseus and Andromeda having seven sons and two daughters. Most of them grew up to be kings and heroes as well. How lovely for a family.
Then, who is this Io? She has an entirely different and interesting story of her own (of course, connected again with Zeus’ fascination with beauties; now you know his type - think skin by Pond's, eyelashes by L'Oreal, curls by Kerastase, and so forth). Mind you, the real mythical Io even went through a difficult stage - what with another jealous goddess (Hera) who turned her into a cow-like creature with bull-horns (something like that) stung into psychosis by no less than gadflies! She became human eventually.
Myth #10: The main story thread to weave it all - MISSING
The real mythology: When Perseus got back to Seriphus, he turned King Polydectes into stone for continuing to bother his mother Danaë. Finally, there! - The ultimate and final vengeance supposedly! (Not the conquest of some Kraken).
Perseus later returned to his homeland and accidentally killed his grandfather King Acrisius with a discus. AND THIS is the fulfillment of the prophecy; thus the story comes full circle – from the banishing of the baby who later grew up to be an Olympic discus thrower/killer. A tragic end! Therefore, King Acrisius/Calibos DID NOT die in between the conquest of Medusa’s head and the battle with the Kraken. And produced scorpions from the blood of his severed hand!
By the way, where did the plot about the scorpions come from? Early Star Wars? (Note: The Djinn, a.k.a. genie - those genderless entities who tamed the scorpions in the movie adaptation - are said to be of Middle Eastern Islamic origin. Go figure how these reach Greece.)
Whew! I feel that I need to refresh on the pure unadulterated mythology. The 2010 version of the “The Clash of the Titans” was a good excuse. Now it’s your turn to spot the rest of the myths!
Credits to my sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki
http://www.ehow.com/
http://www.teachingideas.co.uk/history
* Note: There may be slight variations across different versions of the Greek mythology. Again, reading the book is best, if you want to ace that Literature exam.
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